The Knit Wit
Winter has arrived and with it a parade of some of the most intriguing winter wear. The most popular by far is the famed and once outcast festive ‘lumpy’ jumper. I think anyone born in the 80’s will have at one point of his or her life been snapped in this revolutionised fairisle piece that was deemed not so long ago as a fashion ‘faux pas’. The infamous style once only making appearances at the office Christmas Party or part of your Grandmothers humiliating ploy in order to brand her brood with knitted snowflakes, bunnies and reindeer.
Mrs. Weasley (Harry Potter fame) and to a lesser Rachel Berry (Gleek) insists the lumpy jumper has never been outdated. Maybe Grandma did know best…? I went on a search for my very own fairisle piece to hopefully feel the nostalgic presence of this Wintery Christmas Season.
The first part of my mission was of course “Where do I find myself a warm extra lumpy jumper for my own hipster fashion foray?” I went on the hunt to Topman and H&M. Now you can quite easily find a decent, though over produced, fairisle knit at any of these stores. I found a few I liked though they didn’t really stand out, I also looked around to see that there were about 2-3 guys walking around the store already wearing the styles I was trying on. That would not fly. What’s the point of a cool new vintage looking jumper if it’s mass-produced?
To Sunday Up Market I went, just off Brick Lane, then down a flight of stairs to the underground vintage sale. Here I found a horde of the lumpiest of jumpers! And only one of each! I sifted though the stands and the musky smells of the pre-owned little beauties. It was a veritable feast! A knitted menagerie of awkward animals at my every turn. I tried on about three before deciding on the one that I would splash out 15 quid for… vintage steal! I may have potentially purchased a jumper that once belonged to Old Mable’s dead husband and smelt of a time long gone, but I was truly over the moon.
I decided to road test my jumper in order to understand which social situations types of knitwear belong in. A certain occasion presented itself when my friends organised a night in Covent Garden at Hi Sushi. A ‘smart casual’ social occasion. I paired my new purchase with a pair of skinny blue Levi jeans, tan Zu dress shoes and black leather Industrie jacket. I had my housemate Stef’s “chick approval,” she decided to go knit-wit as well and donned an emerald green knitted cardigan. However it wasn’t until I got to dinner that Stef and I realised we needed to go to a cash point.
Leaving our jackets at the restaurants we thought we’d brave the cold in our trusty lumpy knits. Stef faced the cold rather well, I on the other hand felt as if a thousand needles were stabbing my chest. It felt as I had walked out in to the bitter cold street stark naked, not a regular occurrence. Now at this time of year back in Oz I’m used to walking around in shorts, Havaianas and a festival singlet in 36° weather. So that 3-minute walk was excruciating. Back at the restaurant I asked Stef to check the tag on the back of my collar and to see what my dear lumpy jumpy was made out of. Stef’s cardigan was 100% wool, which kept her nice and warm with a thick knit would protect her from any chill. My jumper on the other hand, though as awesome as it looked, was 100%… acrylic. Needless to say I felt a little betrayed by my new apparel. Acrylic knitwear will not keep you warm this winter and is better left on a TOWIE’s fingertips.
I still love my lumpy jumpy, but I now know to wear a thermal singlet underneath it.
*To wash your knitwear two important things… it has been knitted, not woven. It can unravel as easily as the yarn that made it. The best way to care for your knitted purchase is to hand wash it and avoid over soaking.
**Always check the material before buying your knitwear. I can just hear my mothers voice ringing in my head making fun of me.
***NEVER EVER throw it in the dryer, you’re lumpy love with shrivel up more than… well more than you on a cold winters day.
By: Malcolm Fretz
Hailing from Perth, Australia – just letting you know Malcolm you’d still need a jumper.
The Weather has forgotten that it is meant to be Summer here.
Agreeing with your mum, always make sure of the type of material the item is made of, before purchase.
Love the style, looks great… time to get my mum’s old jumper out of storage; donning it with a pair of leggings.
Because of your enthusiasm for the ole’ lumpy I maybe a converted person. But only because they are so comfortable! I hear your mother to, reminding us to grab jackets and be safe…
hahaha lesson learned!! no acrylic!!! good read malkie well done! xx
I never understood the importance of wool % until I moved to London and the amazing warmth of thermals!
They might be a little bit more expensive but definitely worth the investment.
Wow! I agree. The lumpy jumper is making a comeback. Even chicks are wearing oversized jumpers with black leggings. A unique, but trendy look. Great piece of writing. Hope to see more updates on London fashion from such a quirky and enthused writer!
Noice. That is all…